A long time ago, a wise woman asked me one question that has stuck with me for many years! This question was "what are your long term goals." I couldn't for the life of me figure it out! Then I sat and thought about that! What was I doing? Where was I headed? I picked my head out of the wrong spot. I went back to school even while I had my son! I got my strength from that comment and my son! If I could only find her to give her a hug it would mean wonders to me! There are many times that people mention that I am strong with everything I have endured. Especially in the past year. No mother should ever endure the loss of a child. Tyler was my best friend and my world. My angel in heaven that continues to be my rock as I look at things through a different perspective. I would like to share the things that make me stronger each day. Helping me to move forward on a daily basis. As we see children many seem to forget while parenting that children even so small teach us many things as we are teaching them as well. Children teach us so much. Loss is a broad word as it is not just death. Loss includes a wide variety of things. One may suffer from loss of their abilities, divorce, material items or even the ability to control ones mental health. As strong as one seems there is a dark side and no one may even notice that there is a dark side that is hidden so well behind a mask that we often create. Grief does not come in stages nor is it bound to a timeline that we as humans often create. I have suffered many losses this past year not just one. As we look at the bigger picture of everything I lost the abilities to function with my severe carpal tunnel, I got a divorce, I lost my independence, I lost my ability to control my overwhelming thoughts and mental stability to function on my own without the help from a therapist. I may remain strong on the outside but I am broken inside. I have pushed people away who just do not understand and brought ones closer that do understand and care. Everyone reaches a breaking point somewhere and learning to cope with it is very important in efforts to remain strong. Even though I may appear strong I am not made of stone. I continue to move forward looking to the positive aspects that my son has taught me and I feel that he continues to teach me. As children teach us to be resilient and to laugh as though they have no clue what is going on. Deep down children know what is going on around them and they are absorbing the contents of everyday life whether we choose to believe it or not. Children seem to have built in mechanisms that allow them to cope in their own ways and as a end result they help make others smile. Tyler made me smile with words of encouragement or even goofiness. When I fall or break I know that my son would find a way to ensure that I would smile. This is how I remain strong. As my son found positive in anything. He taught me to not teach him things and not do it myself. I always told him to try anything once and if I wouldn't do it myself he would of course call me out on it! Just like a child to point out a parents flaw when trying to teach them something, right? This keeps me pressing forward and helping others at the same time!
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AuthorThis blog is being established to share the things that I have been through in the past year. From divorce,domestic violence and the death of my child. I am writing to share domestic violence help and coping skills. Hoping that this will reach many and ensure that woman and men are not alone when dealing with life situations. If this blog at least helps one individual, I will have succeeded. Archives
July 2015
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